The Indigenous Way of Dating

Love is beautiful. It is divine and like any other divine procedure, love too takes a while to happen. Some people take up their whole life to find that one perfect partner. 

I have been thinking more about this hyped-up system of 'finding love' lately. The internet has the best answers for questions relating to this. Well, all the millennials seem interested in the stuff there (do check out, when you get time).  

Now finding love is easy. Yes, trust me it is. I don’t know about you, well I don’t know where you are from. In most parts of the world, this process is hard, agreed. You meet people, go on a date, you talk, get to know each other, sleep with each other and then after this schedule repeats for months, you evaluate the relationship and if it all seems going good, propose to your partner. (Which is a big deal). Now you move in with him/her (which is at times done before the proposal too) and after months from proposing, you surprise your partner again only this time to get married (which is again a huge deal). Diamond ring! So important, you dare not compromise there. Unlike the last time, you are facing a real test this time. Either you get a “Yes” or you go back to where you began and start the process all over again with someone else. If your proposal does get accepted, there you go, you are done and your 'destiny' is fulfilled. If you're in the finest of English speaking countries, grow old with each other in your beautiful house and there is nothing better to do. Amazing! Not to mention the pressure, the tiring efforts, time wasted and everything else (including the values broken, if you are an Indian). This is the amazing process of love, as far as my knowledge ends, that's it. Again, at least for most of the world.

Then there is the sub-continent (I hope our neighbours will agree to it too) where finding love is easier than finding a Starbucks in the U.S. If you don't believe me ask someone or take your case. When was the first time you fell in love with someone, you have probably forgotten? But then, it was never a big deal because you were in school. I’ll tell you the story of my friend’s first love. One day, he was walking down the corridor, he came across a good looking girl, he stopped and shared momentary eye contact and BAM! He was in love. TRUE.

Love at first sight. A beautiful name for a completely senseless thing where you just have a look at a person and all of a sudden have something for them, or at least you pretend to. Infatuation is a good word. Please don't take offense, it’s not about you, I am talking about my friend Damodhar. Let me narrate to you the rest of the story. This small something is called having an infatuation. But not here because once you have fallen in love at first sight, you start to stalk her, you find her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Uber and all the other social networking sites you can spot her name on (TikTok got banned, so sad) and text her even though the girl doesn’t even acknowledge the existence of poor Damodhar. But he is adamant. He will continue sending one-sided love letters, so romantic. Until the day she replies with all the love in the world “STOP TEXTING ME!”. Now, Damodhar is smart, he understands the code language she uses, it is an invitation to continue the conversation. Now, he acts so cool and talks like such a ‘paavam’ that he is. Now, the girl has limited options you see, either block this person on the platform or text back but you know sometimes blocking is dangerous and Damodhar can get creepy if something like that happens. Don’t worry, the society lets him be the creep, it’s okay. 

Now, this whole process continues until everyone in the country knows that you are in love with the girl except for her. Then one day he proposes to her and gets slapped in the face or end up being called a brother (both the same for Damodhar). Sometimes, this proposal gets accepted too. Damodhar has a good life either way. Well, it’s either acid or marriage. Options seem interesting, right.

There is also a different scenario where the guy proposes to the love of his life just 15 minutes after he sees her for the first time in his entire life. Once this proposal gets accepted, they start dating and live happily ever after only if they are courageous enough to run away together, as marrying the person you love is a sin in this part of the world. See, this is easy. We do stuff the easy way and if you don't find love in your life, no worries at all. You won't spend your life single (even if you wish) for we have the arranged marriage system where you don't have to care what you look like or what your qualifications are, it’s assured that you will get married on the basis of your caste, creed, salary (basics of life) to a stranger (who might have been in 'love' with your first cousin for the past 5 years of her life). When it’s all over you are in bed, you wake up to a woman and wonder where have you seen her before and remember you got married to her last day. (May sound like something that happens when you get drunk in Vegas). Interesting right.

See, the Europeans have got it all wrong.